Question - Are these really Frequently Asked Questions as you've implied, or are they just a bunch of shit you're pulling out of your ass?

Answer - Shit and ass. Sorry.

Question - How big is your ass?

Answer - Big enough to fill this page and the rest of this damn website.

Question - How do you write your music?

Answer - I swear it is mostly improvisation. I don't think about any of it before hand. I just kinda do it. Most songs only take a day to finish. Some of the more intricate ones take a few days like Duos Nex from The Nightmare Battles. But I pretty much come up with the stuff during the "recording session".

Question - How do you record your music?

Answer - I've got this crappy PC and a mixing board. I go straight into the shite mic jack on the computer and record it onto a recording program. The drums come from the free version of Anvil Studio, the free version of SynthFont, and free sound fonts around the net. I sequence them all myself. All the instruments are recorded live like my guitars, bass, keyboard, whatever. Vocals too.

Question - How is it that you've been drawing all your life and you still suck at it?

Answer - I don't draw to get better really. I draw because I enjoy it. I mean, that pretty much keeps anyone from advancing in any craft. Plus, I don't do it as often as you'd think.

Question - You call yourself a singer?!

Answer - No. I've never called myself that. My voice is shite. Totally.

Question - You call yourself a voice actor?!

Answer - See above.

Question - Why'd you make this website?

Answer - I got tired of dealing with MySpace's shite and YouTube and DeviantArt and your mom. I wanted to do things my own way so vwala.

Question - Did you know "vwala" is really spelled more like "voila"?

Answer - Piss off. Yes I knew that. I know many things. Like how fourty is supposed to be spelled "forty" and shiz. I don't care. I spell things my own way because I find it more entertaining. My entire life is meant to entertain me. That is all. So far I'm succeeding.

Question - Did you know your music sounds a shi-ton like the stuff from Final Fantasy?

Answer - Yes. It's somewhat meant to be. I mean, the diehard fans of FF will probably look at my stuff and be like "He sucks. Boo!" but other fans may be more like "Everything he does is a tribute to his inspiration." which would of course be more appropriate because I don't do it to copy FF, I don't do it to spoof them or compete with them. I do it because this is who I've become because of FF and this is what I enjoy doing. Nobou Uematsu may be the greatest composer alive but either way he is one of my many heroes and without experiencing what he's done with his life I would've ended up a completely different person.

Question - Y'know your Battles albums sound like they should be video games or something?

Answer - No shit Sherlock. That was the point. Though it doesn't always end up that way. The Championship Battles for instance would probably make a better feature-length anime than a game.

Question - You know those weird little scratchy noises in some of your songs? And the way your voice always sounds like crap? And all the other stuff wrong with your music? Why don't you fix those things.

Answer - Because they make the songs more real for me. If I spent days ironing out the crap in one song then it'd take me days before I got to make another one. I'd rather make the songs as what they are, and move on to the next song. I've got no desire to be perfect or to have mainstream sounding shit. I just want my own songs up to my standards. That's all.

Question - There are a lot of typos on your website.

Answer - That's not a question, but yes. I know. After I put a page up on the net, unless there's an error with the page's functionality then I will leave it as is. You wany think of it as being sort of my way to show you that I'm 'real'. Besides, I made the whole website myself out of html (save for the flash bits, and even those I managed to customize myself). I think I deserve a few overlooked typos at this point.

Question - So... You just kinda suck don't you?

Answer - Yes.

Question - With that level of suckage you'd think you'd be single and jobless and poor. How is it that you're not any of those things?

Answer - Um. I am single and jobless and poor. And fuck you. This F.A.Q. is OVER!